Spiral Down
by lucyjoan
Summary: After a night with none other than Sirius Black, Melanie is caught in a downward spiral. Rated M for the end.  Sirius/OC
1. Beginnings

**So this is my first multi-chapter fic. Let me know what you think!**

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><p>Melanie Adams rolled her eyes and tried to focus on the Charms book perched on her lap. The four boys in her year—Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew—were throwing a party, likely just because they felt like it. It was incredibly unfair that they could take away time from studying, just because they didn't need to. Melanie scowled. It simply was not fair for them to be blessed with both incredible good looks and brilliance. Of course, the Gryffindor seventh-year boys were not cookie-cutters like some of the boys in other houses. Remus was the quietly good-looking one, with his tawny hair cut in a jagged line across his forehead. He was school-smart, a genius even. However, he felt the need to study relentlessly though it was not necessary. James was the loud, obnoxiously hot one. His black hair never stood straight and his jauntily perched glasses often slid from the nose between his captivating hazel eyes. He never seemed to try in class, yet almost always seemed to know the right answers. Peter, although certainly not at the same level as his friends, was quite cute, and impressively street-smart. He had no trouble worming his way out of sticky situations, and he could easily detect the truth from a lie. It was Sirius, however, that Melanie felt stole the spotlight. He was confident to the point of cocky with his looks: long, wavy black locks that surrounded a full face set with steely gray eyes. He was modestly intelligent, so despite his extreme brilliance, he never took the glory of a teacher's approval away from one of his mates.<p>

Melanie did not consider herself beautiful or smart, though many others did, including her best friend Lily Evans. Melanie had extremely long brown hair, ending just beyond her elbows. She had pretty light blue eyes, and her face was covered in a dusting of freckles. Lily especially was jealous of Melanie's looks, despite her own long red hair and piercing green eyes. Melanie was not naturally brilliant, but if she studied—like she was trying to do then—she could get good grades.

She scribbled a few notes onto a scrap of parchment and glanced around the common room. She spotted Sirius sweet-talking to a pair of Hufflepuff sixth-years (the party was not restrictive to anyone; even a couple of nicer Slytherins had shown up). Sirius was a huge flirt, but the one girl Melanie knew the boys had a code against ever asking out was Lily. Everyone in Gryffindor knew James adored Lily. Sirius would not be so stupid as to chase his best mate's love interest.

Sometimes Melanie wondered if she was off-limits too, being Lily's best friend. Sirius had never even winked in Melanie's general direction. She wished he would. Melanie was fascinated with Sirius.

She returned to her studying. Flitwick, the new Charms teacher, had hinted heavily at a pop quiz. She had barely read more than a chapter, however, when someone plopped down on the sofa beside her. She turned her head, annoyed, and came face-to-face with Sirius Black. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Hello," he said. "I can't imagine how Charms is more interesting than this fabulous party." He gave her a winning smile.

"Well," said Melanie. "I'm not really that big on parties. I was actually about to go up to my dorm to study."

"I've got a better idea," Sirius said. Grinning, he grabbed her hand and led her up the stairs to the boys' dorm, leaving her Charms book lying on the floor, pages bent in all sorts of angles. He hurried up the stairs, fingers intertwined with Melanie's, and into the seventh-year dorm. He dragged her to the nearest bed and sat down, sitting her beside him.

And then he kissed her. And oh, it was so wonderful, and it felt so _right_, and both were so utterly pleased that neither objected as one or both of them opened their mouth, allowing the other entry. Tongues danced, but apparently that wasn't enough for Sirius. He slipped a hand under the hem of her shirt, sliding his hand across her bare back. Pleasant shivers shook Melanie's whole body, and she hardly objected when he broke the kiss to remove her shirt entirely. Before he brought his lips back on hers, she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and swept it over his head, catching sight of his lust-filled gray eyes as she did so. She crashed her lips on his with such fierceness that Sirius was taken aback for a moment before he dove in.

Soon, Melanie found them lying on the bed, Sirius on top, clad in only their underwear. She felt near dizzy with excitement and lust. Mentally she begged for Sirius to take the next step, and when he did, feeling along her back to undo the clasp of her bra, she murmured her approval against his lips. She'd forgotten all about her Charms quiz, or the essay Professor Slughorn wanted by the next day, or even the N.E.W.T.s, which were approaching with alarming speed. All she knew, at that moment, was Sirius, the feel of his lips on hers, her bare chest against his, his wandering hands that had found the hem of Melanie's underwear. That was all that existed in that moment, and that was perfectly okay with Melanie.

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><p>When she woke up, she was still in Sirius's arms. His curtains were closed, which they had not been the night before, and when Melanie realized that one of Sirius's roommates had to have done that she blushed. Sirius was still asleep, and Melanie was content to lie there in his arms. She looked at his face, watching him breathe. His eyelids fluttered, and Melanie's heart sped up at the thought of his gray eyes. His hair was, if it was possible, even more beautiful despite the level of messiness. She gave in to temptation and gently kissed his cheekbone. His eyelids fluttered again, this time open. He turned his head to her, blinking sleep out of his eyes.<p>

"Good morning," he murmured.

"It certainly is," she giggled, kissing him.

He pulled away gently, sitting up. "Let's get breakfast," he said, tugging his shirt out from under her and pulling it on. Confused, Melanie began to get dressed. Sirius avoided her eyes as he dressed and patted his hair down. Melanie ran her fingers through her hair hurriedly. Glancing at Melanie to make sure she was ready, Sirius opened the door and held it for her. Awkwardly, she headed down the stairs and out of the common room. As they walked down to the Great Hall, Sirius remained several paces in front of Melanie, walking quickly. Was he avoiding her? Did he regret what had happened? Had he been drunk? He hadn't seemed drunk. He hadn't _tasted_ drunk.

When Melanie arrived in the Great Hall she spotted Sirius talking to Remus, their faces bent close. Was he gossiping about her? Head held high, she headed down to where Lily was sitting and took a seat.

Lily turned to look at her. "Where were you last night?" she asked.

Melanie blinked in surprise. "With—Sirius." She blushed.

Lily widened her eyes. "Tell me all about it!" she whispered.

Melanie's blush deepened and she shook her head.

Lily raised an eyebrow and did not relent her stare, seeing if Melanie would crack under the pressure. Instead, Melanie delicately lifted a forkful of sausage to her mouth, chewing, also not breaking eye contact.


	2. Aftermath

**Three things: Sorry on two fronts and Thank You on one. Thank you to all my anonymous reviewers. You, along with my irl friend (you know who you are), are the reason this story is up. Sorry for the lateness of this chapter (I find myself easily distracted), and sorry for the shortness of this chapter, (I wanted to give you all something)**

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><p>Melanie exhaled softly and descended the staircase, Lily close behind her. She'd finally confessed to her best friend what had happened between Melanie and Sirius, but she hadn't listened to any of Lily's advice. She couldn't get his reaction from the morning after out of her head.<p>

In the Common Room, she tried to catch his eye, but after a half-glance up—hardly long enough to see Melanie—he kept his gaze firmly on the Potions textbook in his lap.

James noticed the girls and brightly waved them over. Lily, Melanie noticed, grimaced instinctively before flitting her eyes towards Sirius and leading Melanie over to the four guys.

"Hi, Lily," said James brightly.

"Hello," Lily replied, rather dully.

He stood to offer the redhead his seat, which Lily took grudgingly. Melanie sat down, uncomfortable, in between Peter and Remus.

James, now seated on the floor, tried to engage Lily in conversation. Bored, Melanie let her eyes wander to the object of her affections. Sirius's brows were drawn together as he concentrated on the text. Melanie had a good enough angle to see what topic had him so interested. What she read made her own brows draw together.

"We did the Draught of Living Death in September," Melanie said quietly.

Sirius's head snapped up so quickly Melanie knew he hadn't really been reading. His skin paled considerably as he met her solemn gaze.

"R-review," he stuttered out. "For-for finals." Apparently pleased with this obvious excuse, his face relaxed.

Melanie opened her mouth to tell him that finals weren't for another five months, but something else came out instead. "What's wrong, Sirius?" she asked.

"N-nothing," he said, a little too quickly.

Melanie did not respond, letting the subject drop. What was Sirius doing?

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><p>A few days later, Melanie began to try to forget about Sirius, a decision which Lily fully supported.<p>

"He wouldn't have sex with you and then just _ignore_ you if he was interested," Lily told her as they walked to Herbology one day.

"But then why do it at all?" Melanie asked.

"Because he can." Lily sounded grave. "Honestly, Mel, he's a bit of a prat. The whole lot of them are. They act like they own the school, and the fact that there's not a single girl who'll turn them down only inflates their giant heads."

"Would you?" Melanie wondered.

"Turn them down? Definitely." Lily avoided Melanie's eyes, looking straight ahead as they approached the greenhouses.

"You're just saying that."

"Am not!" Lily was indignant. "They're all such big _jerks_, and they think they're so great all because they spend more time in detention than out."

They had arrived at the greenhouses. They had Herbology with the Slytherins, and as the two friends passed a quiet, greasy boy, Melanie leaned close to Lily and whispered, "Would you rather go out with one of them or Snivelly?"

Lily's face hardened, and she turned her head slightly to face the boy. "Don't call him that," she murmured.

Melanie's eyes bugged out. "Snape?" she hissed. "You'd pick _Snape_ over _James_ or _Sirius_?"

Lily didn't respond; the professor was taking roll. When the last name had been called, Lily turned to her friend, face impassive, and said, "As much as it kills me, I would rather date Potter than Sev."

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><p><strong>So, there's chapter two! It appears we've got the beginnings of a LilyJames romance...maybe... ;) Don't count on there being much, if any, of that.**

**I'm thinking somewhere between 3 and 5 chapters left; I've already got the last chapter written, I just have to work my way towards it.**


	3. Hopeless

Weeks passed, and Melanie began to feel hopeless. She hated feeling used; used and discarded. She began to sink into a funk, not doing her schoolwork or paying much attention to her friends, or anyone, really.

Except for Sirius. Melanie never missed a chance to glance in his direction, but he never returned her stares, looking not once into Melanie's blue eyes. She was beginning to grow to hate him. How could he do this to her? How could he do this to so many girls? How could he do this to _her_?

Strangely enough, Melanie found herself growing close to Remus. He began to sit next to her in the Common Room as she did her homework, and one day he began starting simple conversations with her.

"How have you been, Melanie?" he asked the first time.

Melanie hesitated. "Fine," she lied.

Remus looked at her, a little sadly. "You haven't been paying attention in any of your classes," he said.

"I'm fine, Remus," Melanie insisted, angry, not looking up from her assignment.

There was a pause, and then Remus spoke again. "That was due last week."

"I'm _fine_, Remus," Melanie all but shouted. Shoving her book from her lap, Melanie stood and stormed up the stairs to the girls' dorm.

She wasn't sure why she was so mad at Remus. She supposed it wasn't really Remus she was mad at. _Remus_ hadn't led her on. _Remus_ hadn't slept with her and then ignored her. _Remus_ wasn't the one acting really weird.

But Melanie certainly wasn't fine. Melanie felt sick, constantly. Often it got so bad she wanted to throw up; but not throw up food. Melanie wanted to throw up the past.

She wasn't even making sense anymore.

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><p><strong>Sorry it's really short; I feel like that's how Melanie's thinking process is right now.<strong>


	4. Friends

Melanie was starting to hate herself. She hated herself for loving Sirius, she hated herself for pushing Remus away, and she hated herself for ignoring Lily.

But try as she might, she could not get her two closest friends—funny how she would think of Remus as a close friend, when before all this had happened she had hardly spoken to him—to leave her alone.

Remus continued to sit near her in the Common Room and try to engage her in conversation. Melanie would consistently try to ignore him but would find him unrelenting.

"So a hag and a Healer walk into a bar," Remus begins. Melanie raises an eyebrow at him. "The Healer orders a Mimbulus Mimbletonia, but the hag says, 'No thanks, I'm a vegetarian.'"

Melanie couldn't help herself. The joke wasn't even that funny—hardly funny at all—but Melanie collapsed into helpless laughter. Maybe it was the stress, or maybe it was just that she hadn't laughed in a long while, but Melanie Adams was now doubled over in laughter. Remus, next to her, chuckled along with her and rubbed his hand up and down her back, pleasantly.

"Thanks, Remus," she said with a huge grin, once she had laughed enough. He grinned in reply, and flicked his eyes to the side quickly. Melanie followed his gaze, and when she saw Sirius watching them—watching _her_—her smile faded and she returned diligently to her Potions essay.

Lily tried to talk to her, too, but she mostly spoke of other things, like the absurd way James had asked her out that morning.

"I was just walking back from breakfast, minding my own business," Lily informed her, "when he grabs me, pulls me into an alcove, and—get this—he _proposed_."

"What?" Melanie asked in disbelief.

Lily nodded, eyes wide with amazement. "Got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!" she laughed.

"What did you do?"

Lily grinned. "I kicked him in the side and told him he was an idiot."

"Lily!" Melanie was amazed at her best friend's spunk.

The two girls continued to talk about trivial things, and Melanie was immensely grateful that Sirius never became the topic of conversation.

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><p><strong>Thank you so much to all my anonymous reviewers, and my friend, all of who pestered me to put this chapter up! I'm hoping chapter 5 will be up sooner than this one was. Also, that joke wasn't supposed to make any sense. It's my take on the joke Ron told Madam Rosmerta in HBP.<strong>


	5. Research

These moments of laughter and friendship, though helpful, never lasted past the moment Remus or Lily stood up and walked away. Melanie could never shake the feeling of hatred she felt towards Sirius, towards herself. Horrible thoughts began to plague her mind. She shook them away. She couldn't just end it all…could she?

She was seriously contemplating it. She didn't know of any spells that would do the job—besides _Avada Kedavra_—and that wasn't exactly the result she was looking for. So she began research. Surprisingly, she found what she needed without even using the Restricted Section. She returned to the Common Room to piece together her research.

Remus sat next to her as she sat with a large book on her lap.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, sounding more curious than accusatory, as Melanie would have expected.

She shrugged passively. "Just some outside work."

"Mind if I see?"

"Yes!" Melanie's eyes were wide, and she frantically searched for a cover story. Her eyes darted around the room, and she noticed Sirius reading…an upside-down book. Was he listening in on their conversation? "I don't want people stealing my research," Melanie lied.

Remus grinned slightly, putting his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Okay," he said. Then, to Melanie's disappointment, he stood and sat by Sirius instead.

Melanie used the anger she felt to figure out how her spell would work.

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><p><strong>Another short one, but this is the second-to-last chapter. I've already written the last chapter, so that should be up really soon. Three in one day! Be prepared for tragedy.<strong>


	6. Endings

It was timed perfectly, yet still she felt nervous. How could she know whether it would work? The spell was one of her own inventions; there was no proof it would succeed.

But no matter. It would be done.

She gathered her books and gracefully descended the stairs. No use arousing suspicion in anyone. She was the last one in the common room: everyone was at breakfast. She wasn't going to eat today. There was no point in wasting food that House Elves had worked so hard to prepare. If she had plans to live, she would work to free them. It would have to be another's work.

She arrived at the door to her class several minutes early. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, tearing up slightly.

"Are you okay?" She opened her eyes and saw Remus standing there.

She smiled slightly. "Yes, thank you," she said. She flicked her eyes and, sure enough, Sirius was standing five feet away, arms crossed and brow furrowed slightly.

"You weren't at breakfast," Remus pointed out.

"I wasn't hungry." She glanced at Sirius again. If he were to come up to her and inquire about anything…well, the spell was still reversible at this point. It was reversible until five minutes before the designated time.

McGonagall appeared and led the students into the classroom. Melanie headed to her typical seat: directly behind the one Remus sat in and diagonally behind Sirius.

The lecture began, and Melanie pretended to pay attention. Every so often she casually glanced at the clock.

Thirty minutes.

Twenty-five minutes.

Seventeen minutes.

Fifteen minutes. _Sirius has ten minutes to stop it!_

Eight minutes.

Melanie began to shake with nerves. In three minutes the spell would be irreversible. In three minutes she would be doomed.

Six minutes.

Quivering fingers tenderly hesitated on the wand in Melanie's pocket. There was no way she could go through with this. She'd have to undo it. She'd undo it right now. She glanced at the clock.

Four minutes.

Startled, her wand clattered to the floor. She'd missed it!

Professor McGonagall looked sharply in Melanie's direction at the loud noise.

"Are you all right, Miss Adams?" McGonagall looked at her sternly yet kindly over her glasses. Sirius glanced over his shoulder at her, which sent her heart racing.

Melanie nodded. "Yes, Professor," she said in an impressively calm voice, glancing at the clock discreetly. Three minutes.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow before continuing in her lecture. Before Sirius turned around she glared at him for not caring. She glared at him for this.

Melanie felt her heart beating so loudly she was sure the others could hear it. She didn't want to do this! But it was too late. She'd designed it without a loophole for escaping.

Suddenly it was happening. A tremor of pain zigzagged through Melanie's body. With satisfaction she watched as beautiful writing appeared in the air, a single word: _Goodbye_.

The pain in her body built, but she subsided the screams that threatened to burst. She hadn't intended for it to be this painful.

Lily, next to her, gasped loudly upon sighting the word. McGonagall looked over impatiently, eyes widening in horror as she spotted what was happening. Withdrawing her wand, she sent spell after spell in Melanie's direction.

As the pain grew, Melanie watched as the spells bounced off her. She watched Lily scramble away as though Melanie was contagious. She watched Sirius and Remus turn around, eyes wide.

She watched Sirius's heart break. Shatter. Into a million pieces.

"Melanie!" he shouted, realizing what she had done. "No, Melanie!" He scrambled over the back of his chair and grabbed both of her hands. That was all that was left in her world. Pain, and Sirius's hands holding hers.

"Melanie, no! I love you, Melanie! Stop!" Tears rolled freely down his face, and the class watched in horror.

Melanie's eyes rolled back into her head, blissfully unaware of Sirius's proclamation.

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><p><strong>So that's it! Let me know what you think! I'm thinking of adding a one-shot sequel; yay or nay? <strong>

**Important: I DO NOT CONDONE SUICIDE. THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS. PLEASE, GET HELP. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU. (If you don't have anyone you can talk to, there's a PM button at the top of my bio. Use it.)**


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